dignity

BEST- Best for me are those who journey as equals in dignity, who seek to live in a place of obedience and truth, who meld mind and heart together, are not ashamed of their own struggles or failings, and speak truth with love into mine.

The following words from RickinVa, in reply to my brutally honest struggle, were "best" yesterday.

Anj,

I respect you. I respect your perspective. I respect the way you've communicated it. I can feel the passion, the honesty in a tangible way.

No one should be able to belittle your expression or your ability to communicate it.

I think, at one time, that you and I might've been... soul-mates of a sort.

I once thought, nowhere near as eloquently, as you now think.

Jesus would change this, change that, touch this heart, touch that one, and all would be well.

And although at times I long to think like that I again, I can no longer do so and be honest with myself, or with you, or with anyone else.

I now think it to be idealistic, harmfully so, to think in that manner.

I've experienced some things, I've seen others, I've read about more and have heard from those who've done the same.

My idealism has given way to realism.

Evil exists. Evil must be dealt with.

The world we live in is broken, filled with sin, and until Christ returns, will remain in that state.

To think that we can usher in the kingdom (the garden of eden, peace, lamb living with the lion, etc) without Christ, is simply wrong.

Yet, I can respect you and your perspective, and can think it honorable and right... for you...

... but not for me...

I will not expect you to think like I do. I'm far from perfect... very far... and my perspective may grieve the heart of God...

... but for me to adopt your perspective, for me to live as you apparently do... would be for me to ignore who it is that I am, who it is that God has apparently made me to be, who it is that is comfortable and at peace...

I am who I am, I can be no less...

And I cannot be one who thinks that hugging the Osama Bin Ladens of the world will bring world peace... if this is love, I want no part of it.

But I can respect that you do. And I can respect that you are trying to live that perspective...

... and so I do.

Peace Anj... may we be reconciled in some way.

Well spoken, well said Rick. Thanks for the passion, the clarity, the eloquence, and the heart of your response.

I'll leave my reply in the comments.

Comments

[anj]

Rick, I like you, I see you as a man who speaks the truth, and more. “I am who I am, I can be no less...” And, I respect that you offer me the same. Your reply is heart-felt, I feel that. I want to reply with the same kind of honesty and realness

I am far from perfect too. Who am I to know what God has created you for, or who He made you to be? What I do believe is that you seek to know that, and I’m still trying to figure that one out for myself. Funny, in many ways, we are on the same journey. Even more ironic, when you were where I am, I was where you are. Struggling to reconcile this issue is new for me. That is why it is so real.

I know evil is real…”Jesus would change this, change that, touch this heart, touch that one, and all would be well.” I do believe that Jesus will touch this heart, and touch that one, but I do not believe all will be well this side of heaven. Parts of life will still suck. My desire is not to make things well, it is to follow Him. I’m spending the morning in family court today, as a Court Appointed Special Advocate. It will suck. Nothing can fix that, and I believe that my presence there, and in the lives of those I interact with, will bring the Light of Christ. It is the best I can offer.

The Kingdom of God is here, and it is not yet. Jesus is here, and evil shit still happens. That is living on both ends, for me. I don’t know what that means for you, but I would like to learn. To change you, naw, I’m not that idealistic. Why would I want to change the art of God? Who you are is God’s art, and if I know you better, I get to enjoy His beauty in the design.

“And I cannot be one who thinks that hugging the Osama Bin Ladens of the world will bring world peace... if this is love, I want no part of it.” I am with you on that. Muriel Bishop wrote “Because we must remember that truth without love is violence. And love without truth is sentimentality. We do need both.” I want the Osama Bin Laden’s of this world held accountable for the destruction and havoc they have let loose. I do not want them massacred.

I’d rather hang out with those who are messy and honest, than those who know the right lingo and none of the struggle. My struggle is real, my gut tells me yours is too.

“Peace Anj... may we be reconciled in some way.” Peace Rick. You can swim in my pond anytime. I hope you make me the same offer.

[RickinVa]

“Peace Anj... may we be reconciled in some way.” Peace Rick. You can swim in my pond anytime. I hope you make me the same offer.

Consider that offer made Anj...

Although we disagree, and will again (of that I'm sure), what I find intriguing, and evidence for the hand of God, we have connected. North and South, Right and Left, Up and Down have connected.

Christ, I think, is what has bound us together.

I think that's pretty cool.

Peace indeed, to you, and to 'L'...

[not perfection]

Thanks to Rick for introducing me to your blog. It's a blessing to have found you.

This struggle is being experienced by many, including myself. So many brothers and sisters in Christ are going through it and are being led to the answers that seem right in their own conscience. Then, we find ourselves across a divide since we're on one side and our brothers and sisters are on the other. This causes me some pain. But it is what it is.

I have someone I truly love (in an online way) named Laura, over at been there... still there [www.beentherestillthere.blogspot.com]. We're on opposite sides of the divide, but I think we still pray for each other and read each other daily -- but find it hard to communicate. Perhaps, through the Grace of a loving and merciful God, we will heal.

There's an old Southern Baptist hymn I love that's helping me today.

Tempted and tried we're oft made to wonder
Why it should be thus all the day long
While there are others living about us
Never molested, though in the wrong.

Farther along we'll know all about it
Farther along we'll understand why
Cheer up my brothers, live in the sunshine
We'll understand it all by-and-by

When we see Jesus coming in glory
When He comes down from His home in the sky
Then we shall meet Him in that bright mansion
We'll understand it all by-and-by...

Sorry for the long comment, but you touched my heart. Don't mean to butt in.

Your friend in Christ,

[anj]

The pond is open. Thanks for the comments.

[Sister TF]

Anj,

I'm confused. Suppose you got up in the middle of the night and went downstairs to find a bushy-haired stranger trying to abscond with son #1 and son # 3 at knife point. Suppose talking (even that of #1) did nothing to change his intention. Suppose he started to apply the knife to #3. Would you kill the b.-h. s. to save #s 1 and 3?

[anj]

Aw Sister TF,. I don't know what I would do. But, I believe that if I wrestle with this now, if that time ever comes, I will be given the ticket. And, honestly, what are the odds that I could kill a b.-h.s.? And, another way to look at it, is death really the worst thing that can happen to us? Of course, the huge assumption is that #1 had not talked his way out of this situation!

[Sister TF]

Guess I believe the US has been given the ticket and a lot of people just don't like the destination.

[Mike]

Nicely done, Anj. And well said, Rick.