threshing session

BEST of the weekend – I stayed home for the weekend, and Saturday morning, as I awakened L sat on my side of the bed, and stated “It is not the fight that is the issue. It is what led to the disconnect between us, that is the issue, that is why we fought. What are the choices we made in that? That is what we need to talk about.”  I listened and marveled. We are both people that disconnect under stress, for seven years this has been our pattern. I have prayed for Light, waited for Way to open in this area of our marriage. 

Sunday morning, as L sat on the sat of the bed again, I told him what our f/Friend and I had discussed in regards to threshing sessions. I cannot find a definition in New York Yearly Meeting's Faith and Practice for a threshing session, but there is a one in Philadelphia Yearly Meeting's Faith and Practice - Threshing Session: A gathering of Friends to consider in depth a controversial issue but in a way that is free from the necessity of reaching a decision.  Our F/friend further defined it as creating space to talk about the hard things, trusting that the Spirit is of greater weight than the hard things that must be discussed. I told L I thought we should have a family threshing session about how my illness  impacts us, both communally and individually. He was intrigued. During our family home church time, I explained a threshing session, explained my concerns, and told the boys I wanted to have a threshing session as a family. Then, I looked at L and voiced my opinion that we should probably have one first so that we could…..and as I paused for the word, L spoke “elder; we need to be able to elder the family threshing session.Yes, after hearing the reaction to the idea I feel this is important. ” As a family, we have often discussed difficult items in worship sharing mode; the boys know how to speak out of the silence, how to be grounded, how to listen. My gut tells me we need a threshing session here, for honesty’s sake, instead of a time of worship sharing. 

We have set aside Thursday night for L and me to meet with the Spirit, and Sunday night for our family threshing session. Again, I find myself grateful for Friends ways.

Comments

[bobbie]

what a beautiful metaphor for the process of finding the grain among the chaff of our lives and relationships anj - thank you for sharing this. i will be holding you both in the light.