f.i.n.e.

WORST – Instead of 28 day rehab, we have started an Early Intervention Program. Mondays are peer night, and Urine Analysis. Wednesdays are education and family group night. For me, there are a lot of triggers in this process. I am shocked by how often my anger or numbness that was so present with their fathers addiction comes to the front. I am dismayed by how hard it is to stay present and connected during the group. I am heartened by being able to let go of holding space for others and focus on my own process. I am saddened by the necessity of our being there. And I am scared – not of substance abuse or addiction, but of denial, whether we live that out by fear or anger or numbness.