friends
BEST- Truth. And friends. Yesterday, I drove the newly
turned 16 year old and his girlfriend to some shops. All day I had been
praying/thinking of June 2, after my body scan, when I go back for the needed
treatment based on what is seen in the scan.
The two older boys tend to not respond well to my weakness.
They are used to an Enneagram Eight mom, in charge, struggling with control
issues, still somewhat strong even when ill. My perception is that, this time,
seeing the weakness come back as I am off my thyroid supplements, they,
especially the 17 year old (perhaps an 8 also) try to bring back the mom they
know by provoking a fight. It has often worked in the past, it is not working
now.
I’ve changed and I am more determined and able to tend to my needs.
And theirs, but not at the expense of mine. How do I balance the needs of our family community with my needs as an
individual?
Yesterday, I did it by calling my friend Judy and asking if
she would be available to come stay with us the week I have treatment. I know
having someone else in the house will automatically remind us to be kind to one
another. And I know she is someone I can trust. And I know she loves me, and I
love her. We may sit the whole week or so in silence on Sojourn’s front porch.
Or we may finally sew up that new fabric for my outside cushions that my
neighbor, the upholsterer gave me, a few years ago. Or we may talk till our
voices are weary about how our visions of God have changed.
Whatever we do, it was good to ask for help.
...amen and amen!
...from Judy's man
Posted by: Wes Roberts | 04/30/2008 at 11:24 PM
Friends in these places are a necessity. Enjoy each other's company.
Posted by: stephanie | 05/01/2008 at 03:32 AM
I'm so glad that you have Judy.
My kids are the same way, it really throws them when I am sick for any reason.
They will just have to deal with it..you take care of YOU!
Posted by: aola | 05/01/2008 at 11:38 AM
Wes - Thanks for sharing your wife. There is a peace in our house since we know she is coming.
Steph - I wish I could be with you, in body as well as spirit.
Aola- Kids pick up so much, don't they? Mine are old enough, especially the older two, to learn to just deal with it. I wish I had insisted they learn to cook better - but what they can do will have to do!
Posted by: anj | 05/01/2008 at 12:56 PM
Today, just before I read this, I emailed a couple of Friends to ask them to come to dinner tonight, to anchor the dinner table, while my husband is at a meeting and I am reeling from some very disappointing news. I haven't heard back yet, but just asking made me feel better.
Posted by: Robin M. | 05/05/2008 at 05:38 PM
Robin - Just asking makes me feel better too. When I was a single-mom, a friend came every Wednesday night to eat with us. Sometimes I feel like she saved my sanity during that time. I am sorry about your disappointing news. And hope your friends were able to be an anchor for a while, while you reeled.
Posted by: anj | 05/06/2008 at 10:35 AM