It runs deep in our genes. Arises whenever there is an upset to plans, or a snafu, or sometimes just when it is time to leave and walk out that door. It masquerades as a faithful companion, but it is a thief. It steals peace, serenity, and connection in relationship.
I am learning not to issue the invitation that allows it to camp out in my world. Learning the early warning signals that note it is trying to butt in. It must be acquiesced to in some manner to be present, and it has too often been a part of my world, and my relationships with others.
So we stood in the security line at Philadelphia International Airport. The 20 year old, his 18 year old brother, their grandpa, and me. I knew the older had lost his drivers license and had not gotten it replaced yet, I had asked him the night before what he was going to use for ID. He assured me his school ID would be sufficient and I let it go.
The 18 year old showed his school ID and his new driving permit. The grandfather and myself our drivers license, the 20 year old his school ID. Three were waved through, one was told to wait for a supervisor. I felt that unwanted guest sense an opening, and I stepped out of my passed through line to be back with Charlie.
We waited. Yes, it was a long twenty minutes as we waited for TSA supervisor. I was tempted to complain about security theatre, I was tempted to berate him for a myriad of choices that put us in this place, I was tempted to berate myself for being a poor organizer. His want has been to berate himself and become contemptuous of those in authority. We both resisted the ways we have, in the past, moved out of a tough situation. Anxiety was hovering around the edges, waiting for an opening to pounce and disrupt our day, our trip, our being together.
But we were still and cool. We joked a bit, we sat in silence., Charlie apologized for the delay, and for not getting his driver license replacement attended to. I reminded us both that we needed to get his expired passport replaced. There was peace between us and kindness enveloped us.
The grandpa and the younger brother made it to the gate, and then went to get a snack.
So sweet, there was time for the delay, there was space to offer grace, and there was laughter instead of anger or tears of frustration or anxiety gripping our hearts and closing them. And then, on the plane, I fired up my Kindle on Mac and read this book:
Still and cool in the midst of simple errors.